The recent posterboy...

...for ending the "Don't ask, don't tell" thing in the military.  I came here because I didn't have to confine myself to text-sized posts.  For me it is a complex issue.  I think I can claim to be 'on record' as having no problems with people in same-sex relationships and partnerships... for years Charmaine and I wished for an alternative to 'marriage' because that's not really how we saw ourselves, either.  Whatever you want to call the bond between you and your partner is fine with me.  You, whoever you are, should have the same rights and opportunities as my wife and I do in those circumstances.

The realm of the armed forces is a little different, to me.  I have always thought the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy was a good thing.  At it's most blunt, I could point out that not everyone is comfortable with sharing a shower with someone who just might be checking out their ass while they are there.  And you have no choice.  And you have to do it every day.  I have always expected women, in particular, to get this... but they often don't.  Picture that creepy guy who's always undressing you with his eyes, then think about having to share a bathroom/shower area with him every day...

Now, include the idea that nearly as many men as women have been sexually assaulted in their youth, and that's just the ones on record, and then tell me that these young men, these boys, should have to cope with that as well as the fact that they might die today if they aren't carefull enough and you start to get an understanding of why I think the current policy might just be the right way to go for a while yet.  These kids have enough on their plate and the ones who 'out' themselves generally seem to be looking for their their five minutes in the spotlight and a chance to be on Nightline...

Side notes: First of all, I have a cousin who isn't much older than me who served his term in the navy, was honorably discharged at the rank of Lt. Commander, came home, came out, and openly partnered (read as 'married') another guy he'd served with.  He had been, at the peak of his naval career, Number 4 on a nuclear powered aircraft carrier.  He left with his laurels and has lived his life a happy man, and a proud one.

Second: and this is the tough one, when I was 14 years old I was sexually assaulted in a men's room at a shopping mall.  It wasn't as bad as many, but I will say it left it's marks.  Marks I felt much more strongly when I was 18-20 years old.  They were fresher.  Now, ask yourself, are these the kind of preocupations we wish to inflict on 15-25% of the young men who've volunteered, signed they're lives away, to serve our cause as a nation?  Or, perhaps as the Bard is paraphrased, the lady doth protest too much?

(no subject)

So, inspired by the idiot box and an article in a car magazine I have some questions for y'all; 

Do you sit down for most of the day at work, or do you spend most of your time on your feet?

Do you spend more of your day thinking about how something should be done, or actually doing it?

Just how much of the product your company sells can you actually produce (without help or further training)?

Are you sure?

What is the actual product or service you take part in providing to others?

Who do you know who needs that product or service?

What are they going to do with it?

Do you care?

On record...

I'd just like to say that I'm on record as having said that Al Franken was a bad choice because he was so vulnerable, like over a year ago.  There were better candidates available.  Three at least.
Hillary had the same problem to a lesser extent.

So, and I'm quoting...

Just a note to let you know
That I was right, I told you so.
I told you so, I told you so.
I told you so, I told you so.

An idea.

I was thinking the other day about books and how most of my friends all seem to have too many of them, yet never have enough to read.

This idea occurred to me: what about an exchange?  One last outdoor party before the weather seals us in until spring, everybody brings some books.  Everybody leaves with about the same number of books, but ones they haven't already read.  I know I have two or three hundred I wouldn't mind rotating.  There are, of course, others you'll have to pry out of my cold, dead hands.

Does this sound like a good idea?  Maybe throw in movies as well, and make all our video and book stores wonder where we went for a month or two...

Thoughts on reaching forty...

My mother made it to 67, my father to 81.  I figure this is a midpoint in my life.  Somewhere in here I'm going to start having more memories than moments...  that's ok, the memories I hold on to are as good as you'll get.  The ones that won't go away, well, they can take care of themselves.  It's only right that it should be raining tonight, it suits my mood.

I've had a wonderfull birthday, all 24 hours.  Like my life, gifts unexpected, given and received.  Tomorrow is just another day.

Yeah, maybe I don't know all that much, but I know more than I ever wanted to.  The real world is an ugly place, dirty and cold and uncaring, but there are these things, commonly called people, and despite their reputation they really aren't all that bad.  Well, some of them, anyway.  To the rest of you, the secret's to bang the rocks together guys...

No, nothing profound, nothing subtle.  More stories I'll never tell, more stuff I could never explain.  I still feel alone in the middle of a crowd, much the way I think we all do, and I still think it's sad that we have to live out our lives inside our seperate skins, alone, but that's just how it is.  Good luck to you, too.



Wait, are the conservatives claiming they are the most liberal?

Am I high, or in political terms doesn't liberal mean promoting change, and conservative mean resisting change?  My head hurts, and I blame Carl Rove.

Do you know...

...what a bastard is?  Theorheticaly, or in reality? Well, I am one.  I am  a child so akwardly timed that, when I was born, no one's life was enriched by my existance... and most of them had had time to give it some thought.  I was the worst thing that could happen, in many peoples eyes, many of whom came to love me, in spite of themselves.

As far as I know, I was born to my natural parents... and they were there for me, together, at least until I was twenty.  How many Americans can say that?  Since then, and both within 12 months, they have died.  Cancer, in both cases, 67 and 81, respectively.  Myself, and my nine siblings are left to cope (on the one side they had lost their mother only just over a year before)... and I'm the youngest... the only one that ties the set together.  Before you decide my math is off, the only other son my mother delivered died in the cradle, well before I was an issue.  While I was standing at my mother's death-bed I was reminded of that fact... that they'd had to pry her fingers from the rail of his crib in the hospital (he was just a little over a year old when he died) by her two older sister who only missed being there for her by less than an hour.

So, why am I laying this on the line?  Because that and all the baggage I carry, that only some of which even my wife can understand, has destroyed me this last year or so, and that so many of you who don't have a clue can get a grip on why I've been so fucked up.  For the record I was there when my mother died... I will swear that I felt the last beats of her heart.  As for my father, well, we were all just hoping it was over.  I still have to go back, and see her headstone and take possesion of his painting kit.  There's a part of me that wants to take the one to bring some color to the other.  She was a Rose and he was a Dick and I'm just their bastard child.  I'm sorry.

Oh, and on 9/10 I turn 40...

And, just for the record, that's not me looking all stern in my ID pic, that's my grandmother's grandfather.  It just runs strong in some families.

I could go on but it starts to sound lame, even to me.  If it weren't my life I wouldn't believe it.

Lyrics, for no good reason.


Shine On You Crazy Diamond

First Part

Remember when you were young,
You shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now there's a look in your eyes,
Like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the crossfire
Of childhood and stardom,
Blown on the steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter,
Come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!

You reached for the secret too soon,
You cried for the moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Threatened by shadows at night,
And exposed in the light.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Well you wore out your welcome
With random precision,
Rode on the steel breeze.
Come on you raver, you seer of visions,
Come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine!


Second Part

Nobody knows where you are,
How near or how far.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Pile on many more layers
And I'll be joining you there.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
And we'll bask in the shadow
Of yesterday's triumph,
And sail on the steel breeze.
Come on you boy child,
You winner and loser,
Come on you miner for truth and delusion, and shine!


Clone Wars

 Not to sound paranoid, but I was just polishing off a hearty rant about how George Lucas can kiss my ass, what with this insulting half-Disney-half-anime piece of crap he expects us to swallow as a feature film, just because he's too lazy to finish the series, but too greedy to walk away, when lj neatly crashed, sending me to desktop like nothing had ever happened.  I'm not going to bother with trying to recreate the whole thing, but a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away I was eight and there was this movie...

Before you go into the whole "you expect too much" line of shit, remember that I was one of the staunch supporters of the last set of Star Wars flicks.  "But," I so often heard myself say, "it's just a Star Wars movie, what do you expect?"

This video game adapted for the big screen is, I have to say, a whole different kettle of fish.  All the space ships and robots are perfect, and all the people look like Disney's after-school cartoons (available only on the Disney channel) and, frankly, I hope the regurgitated, rebranded, retold and otherwise fucked up Batman movie kicks this things ass.  I have to go see the Hulk movie to be sure, but I'm pretty certian I'd be better off just going to see Iron Man two or three more times if I wanted a decent, mid-summer release action/adventure movie.  

C'mon, the last Indianna Jones was fun, but was it really so distracting he let this piece of... well, he let this thing slide through with that little supervision?  Fuck George Lucas, I'm not paying a cent to see this afterschool special.  I have video games with cooler graphics, and let's be honest, it was never the story or the writing we went to a Star Wars film to see.

Can you say "Direct to Video?"  I knew you could.
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